miercuri, 30 martie 2011

Adio!

Ne’am intalnit pe’un acoperis. Era intuneric si era frig. Cautam o evadare din zgomoteca cotidianului acolo, in bataia unui vant sinistru. Prea multe ganduri si prea putin spatiu in ultimul timp. Pana si tutunul a ajuns sa fie de prisos. Dar imi dau seama ca nici macar acolo nu’mi pot implini singuratatea. Mai e cineva. Simt o suflare straina. Imi plimb ochii imprejur si vad in stanga mea… o faptura. De la distanta asta nu’mi pot da seama de e baiat sau fata. Dar banuiesc. Apare subit o suspiciune. Sunt in siguranta sau nu? Curioasa precis sunt. Dar oare ar fi sigur? Poate ca… Si ma si indrept fara sa vreau si fara sa stiu catre partenerul meu in singuratate. Ma apropii usor, studiez, analizez si trag concluzii. Zambesc larg si, pe cum ma apropii, incerc sa’i definesc trasaturile fetei. Am banuit bine. Ma mai apropii putin si cu o voce calda cersesc putina atentie. Un par putin balai, lung, ce acopera o fata rotunda, niste ochi perfecti si’un zambet dulce imi acorda subit atentie. Cunosc privelistea asta. Si mai mult chiar, o iubesc. Dar… Mi’e atat de straina. Atat de noua, de necunoscuta si de ciudata. E ca si cum as avea un deja-vu… cu un necunoscut? Simt ca nu se leaga dar nu caut sa gasesc vreo explicatie. E prea intens momentu’ ca sa merite vreo logica. Ma incumet si ma asez langa el chiar in momentu’ in care realizez ca ne desparte’o lume intreaga, desi mi’ar fi iesit direct din suflet. Nici macar nu vorbeam aceeasi limba. Dar sa mai si cunosc ceva din necunoscutul prezentei sale … Totusi. Iubesc acest necunoscut ca si cum l’as iubi pe el de’o viata. De ce? Cine e el de fapt? Si de ce stam acum, pe’un acoperis, invaluiti in fumul de tigara, contempland… nimic, intr’o tacere surda? Ce’ar trebui sa fac? Sa plec? Sa stau? Si ce’s cu intrebarile astea puerile in capul meu? Ma pierd? Eu? Nu! Trag ultimu’ fum de tigara, multumesc pentru companie si, cu un gol in stomac, dau sa plec. Dar simt ca n’o sa ajung prea departe. Si asa se si intampla, cand in urma mea, el ma striga. Ma intorc subit si simt cum buzele lui le cauta pe’ale mele si ritmul meu devine unul si’acelasi cu al lui. Timpul ingheata si pana si vantul se opreste. Momentul prinde o alura suprema si pare ca nu se mai termina. Si nu se mai termina. SI nu se mai termina… Pana ajung sa cred ca e un vis si ma intorc sa plec. Ar vrea sa’mi stie numele, dar prefer sa mi’l ascund intr’o doza de mister, la fel ca toata persoana lui. Plec, lasandu’mi parfumul in negura si sarutarea’n vant… Adio!

marți, 15 martie 2011

LOVE

Needs no description.

And I wanna play hide and seek, give you my clothes, tell you I love your shoes, sit on the steps when you take a bath, and massage your neck, and kiss your face, and hold your hand and go for a walk. Not mind when you eat my food, and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day. Talk about your day and laugh at your paranoia. Give you tapes you don't listen to, watch great films... watch terrible films. And tell you about the TV program I saw the night before, and not laugh at your jokes. Want you in the morning, but let you sleep for awhile. Tell you how much I love your eyes, your lips, your neck. Sit on the steps smoking 'til your neighbors come home. Sit on the steps smoking 'til you come home. And worry when you're late, and be amazed when you're early. I'd give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance. Be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me. Look at your photo's and wish I'd known you forever. Hear your voice in my ear, feel your skin on my skin. And get scared when you're angry. I tell you you're gorgeous. And hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you're hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you, and whimper when I'm not. Smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't. Melt when you smile, dissolve when you laugh. But not understand how you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you. And wonder who you are. But I accept you anyway. And tell you about the tree angel and enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you. I'd buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it but I always have from the first time I asked you. I wander the city thinking, but I'm empty without you, but I want what you want and think I'm losing myself.
But I'll tell you the worst me and try and give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less. Answer your questions when I'd rather not. And tell you the truth when I really don't want to. And try to be honest because I knew you prefer it. And think it's all over but hang on for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life, forget who I am. And let me try and get closer you.

... And somehow communicate some of the over-whelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, all-encompassing, heart-enriching, mind-expanding, ongoing, never-ending LOVE I have for you.
Thank you, my dear Ioana.
(not written by me)

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